Day 33: Not Feeling Good Today

All I can say is, "Oofta!!!"

Day 32: Instincts Firing

I've sitting on my couch, wiped out from teaching, Zumba-ing, and power yoga, trying to write. Some days it's easier than others; some days it's instinctual. Tonight, not so much. Elvis, on the other hand, is paying close to his instincts as a Southern boy. Just three minutes ago, a gunshot went off somewhere in the neighborhood, which caused him to shoot out the French doors in full hound dog bay. I live downtown, so there are often loud noises; but those noises don't always agitate Elvis. There must be something in his DNA, something left dormant from his ancestors who were allowed to hunt, that allows him to recognize the sound of a shotgun.

A few weeks ago, he had a similar reaction to the late-night cry of a coyote (yes, there seem to be some urban-dwelling coyotes in the area). Dogs bark all of the time, and Elvis rarely responds (unless they are walking past the house). Again, his down home country memory bank must know what a coyote sounds like. Instincts are amazing!

Are you wondering why I didn't sound more alarmed at the sound of a gun going off down the block? I've lived downtown for 12 years now....maybe my instincts are better than I thought!

Day 31: The Pain and Pleasure of Beginning

It's beneficial to be reminded of the beginner mind--the one that we should all keep no matter how skilled we become at something. I wish I would have remembered this around 11:30 this morning when I was "going off" on my fourth period class about the dismal turn-in rate for their first formal writing assignment. Fortunately for my second period class, my frustration level hadn't peaked, even though their overall effort was rotten. I must remember they are beginners. Many of them did a great job. At the end of fourth period, after a few very long, deep breaths, I apologized for my outburst and explained to them that my response didn't come from a place of disgust, but from a place of frustration and concern. I've been down this same track with freshmen for four years, and each year I try to build in strategies and supports that will keep them from screwing up at the beginning of the year. Maybe they are just supposed to screw up.

On a lighter note, our friend Tom went to class with us tonight--his first-ever yoga experience! Heather and I were a bit nervous for him because the class, though only an hour long, is usually intense. Plus the room is heated to 99 degrees (only 4 degrees warmer than it was outside at 5:30). But, Tom made it through, and even had a big smile--a big, exhausted, sweaty smile--at the end of class. He said he wants to try it again. Now that's a good beginner mind!

I will try to take some of Tom's good-natured beginner energy with me to class tomorrow; my kids will appreciate it!

Day 30: Wordless

My mind is exhausted. Today I spent five hours helping my 9th and 10th graders write their first theme essays. I presented the same basic ideas five times, but had to explain in at least 20 or 30 different ways. I have no words left tonight, except......

Rest peacefully Senator Kennedy.

Day 29: Water Issues

I may be into my third week of school, but tonight it just feels like summer. It's 9:15, my frontdoor is wide open, and I can hear my neighbor's sprinkler chh-chh-chhing across the street. I love that sound. It reminds me of the days (way before water restrictions) when we'd think nothing of running back and forth through the oscillating sprinkler for hours at a time. What a simple way to keep us kids busy, though I'm sure my parents didn't love the muddy path we cut through the lawn. But, we were happy, out of our mother's hair, and still in her line of vision.

Yesterday was one of my official watering days, but I couldn't get to my frontyard until the afternoon. So, sorry water police, but I was sprinkling my landscape at 2 in the afternoon. I felt a bit guilty because I know it's not the most efficient time to water, but it was the only time I had. Plus, my entire frontyard is landscaped with three-year-old native plants, which I only water once every two to three weeks in the summertime. The poor guys seemed thankful for the quick drink. Hmm, could I still get busted my the water police? Did they see me wash the downtown grunge that settles on my porch furniture....shhhh!

Since starting the 40 yoga days, I've thought a lot more about water than ever--and not just because I'm having to wash yoga clothes and towels several times a week. I know I've talked about it before, but I was amazed again tonight at the amount of sweat that can stream out of my body. The class was only an hour long, but midway through I was completely drenched, and each time I bent over, sweat dripped up my nose and showered my mat. Sounds like fun, huh? I'm watery, watery, watery.

Enough water talk, I need a drink......bubbly water, not wine (sigh....)

Day 28: Productive Sunday and More Teacher Talk

Day 28 of yoga is complete, three periods worth of "What's My Purpose" paragraphs are graded, my dog is washed, and half of my frontyard is pruned back. I'm happy with my Sunday effort. Now I get to look forward to having dinner with Fred, Heather, and the kids! It's the only place on this planet where I have a Wii avatar!

Tomorrow I will need all my energy because I'm taking my kids into their first formal writing assignment. To me, working with students on the writing process is the most exhausting part of my job--but the most worthwhile. After reading three classes worth of paragraphs, I'm hopeful that many already have the basic knowledge of how to write a sentence. But, there will be a few, or more than a few, who will be struggling with those basic skills while at the same time tackling critical thinking and literary analysis. I'm sure they'll be more frustrated and exhausted than I will be!

Sorry, this yoga blog is turning into a teaching blog. It can't be helped in the first few weeks of school. If you'd like to hear another person's perspective on teaching high school, there is a great article in this week's San Diego Weekly Reader. I haven't read it in years, but I saw the cover story when I was leaving Trader Joe's and had to pick it up. The title: "I Was a High School Teacher Dropout." It's written by a professional playwright and ex-teacher who left the profession after only a few years. Her insight is spot-on: http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2009/aug/19/cover/

Day 27: Gratitude

As we went into this morning's practice, Lizette suggested that we carry an intention of gratitude with us into each of the poses. It's a feeling that I haven't put much energy toward this last week, but it only took her small reminder to help me focus on all that I am grateful for; so, here it goes:

I am grateful for my family and friends. It is a wide circle, but I never feel my love for them is spread too thin. Even the ones that are rarely in my line of sight are always in my heart. I am loved by many people, in different ways, and there is no better feeling.

I am grateful for the opportunity to teach (even in this difficult period). It is exactly what I am meant to be doing...for now. It might sound like I've drunk the Kool-Aid, but teenagers really are amazing. If you are in a point in your life where you do not have much contact with teens, you should find a way to be around them (probably in small doses if you aren't used to them in large quantities). If you keep the right frame of mind, it's possible to feel the truly sweet energy they possess--even when they are surly, nasty, and at their most annoying.

I am grateful to own a home. A sweet, little, funky home that keeps me and my little troupe (Elvis and Buddy) warm and dry.

I am grateful for my mind and body (flaws and all). I've struggled with the things they can't do, but I'm constantly amazed at the things that they can continue to do, or are just learning. After 27 days of yoga, I'm finding renewed openess, strength, and forgiveness.

I could go on for days, especially in my current good mood, but I will end with one last piece of gratitude. This is a tough one that I don't feel more often than I do: I am grateful to the people in my life who have caused me or the people I love pain and turmoil, and the people for whom I feel animosity, anger, or disgust toward. No names here, but there is a list. I often find these people to be my best teachers (when I let myself let go of the negative feelings I hold toward them). If I were my best Buddhist self, I would release all animosity toward each of them, but I settle at this point for moments of forgiveness and acceptance.

That's it for now. I'm off to help a friend keep a crazy group of 17-year-olds in check at a Slip-n-Slide birthday party! Oh gracious!